


Coming Clean

by kentucka



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, writing style: interview
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-10-19
Updated: 2006-10-19
Packaged: 2017-10-28 17:54:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/310550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kentucka/pseuds/kentucka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Interview by Daniel Bower with Jared Padalecki, <i>March 21, 2015:</i><br/>Many rumors ranked around the relationship of Jared Padalecki (32) and Jensen Ackles (37) ever since they met at the set of the hit horror show Supernatural. In an exclusive interview last Saturday, Jared Padalecki talked about their private lives for the first time since the show took off: When he and his long-term girlfriend Sandra McCoy really broke up, how it all started, and the pros and cons about being in a relationship with a co-star.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming Clean

**Author's Note:**

> I tried something different here, writing a story from Jared's POV and in his words, hence: an interview. My betas agreed with my decision, so I hope you give it a chance.
> 
> (Please bear in mind: this interview is of course entirely fictional, written in 2006 to the backdrop of the second season of Supernatural having just started.)

*

Daniel Bower - March 21, 2015

Many rumors ranked around the relationship of Jared Padalecki (32) and Jensen Ackles (37) ever since they met at the set of the hit horror show _Supernatural_. In an exclusive interview last Saturday, Jared Padalecki talked about their private lives for the first time since the show took off: When he and his long-term girlfriend Sandra McCoy really broke up, how it all started, and the pros and cons about being in a relationship with a co-star.

*

**DB: Hello Jared, it is nice to see you back in Hollywood. It’s grown quiet around you in the past couple of years.**

Jared: Hey Daniel. Yeah, yeah, I’ve been busy with my parents’ ranch in Texas. Spent a lot of time there getting ordered around by my old man fixing things… Worse than any director ever could be, let me tell you! [laughs]

**DB: What about Jensen, I was hoping he would join us today?**

Jared: Well, we thought it would be awkward to have us both sitting here and explaining all the when’s, how’s and why’s, so we decided pretty early on that this would be a job for one. And seeing how Jen’s always kinda hated standing in the spotlight when he was supposed to be himself and not a character, it was clear that the job would fall to me.  
Back to your question though, he’s had a couple of projects this year…

**DB: An indie comedy production and a blockbuster action movie, right. I guess we’re just used to a different quantity of output from both of you.**

Jared: Ha, yeah. _Supernatural_ was the most demanding shooting schedule I have ever experienced. And we even did movies in the summer breaks whenever we got offers for interesting projects. But yes, we both decided to take a little time off, have more time to ourselves after the show’s finale two years ago.

**DB: Time for each other?**

Jared: That too, in a way, yeah. It’s not like we hardly saw each other in all those years, quite the contrary. We lived in each other’s pockets, and that’s just as complicated. We got through it, though, and since then we’ve tested normalcy.

**DB: What was the hardest about shooting the show when you were already a couple?**

Jared: We didn’t have nearly as much time for us as we would have liked to share. Almost every minute of our day that we spent awake, we spent as the Winchesters, and on set there’s virtually no privacy. We hadn’t announced our relationship yet, and spent most of our breaks in our trailers. [grins]

**DB: Did it get any easier after making it official?**

Jared: Not really. See, we told a handful of people; those we trusted and we thought should know, because it was their show. We didn’t tell everybody on set because we were too afraid of anybody leaking it to the press and thereby endangering the show. We kept hiding.

**DB: Hiding sounds pretty harsh…**

Jared: But it’s what it was. I’m not the type to conceal my emotions; I felt great and I was in love, and I wanted the world to know, just like I did whenever I had spent time with Sandy [Sandra McCoy]. I was stubborn, young, and didn’t want to acknowledge that there was a difference between having a girlfriend and having a boyfriend, in the industry. Jen and I had a few disagreements over that, but in the end I always knew he was right. It is the harsh reality of stardom. Famous people, however small their fame might be, have to live up to their fans’ expectations. They want to know about our private lives, the more the better. But Lord forbid if we don’t shine and glitter outside of the spotlights just as much as we do on the screen, if we do something that’s considered immoral.  
Half a century of sexual revolution, and homosexuality is still a taboo in Hollywood. Every celebrity that confirmed their homosexuality has had to fight to keep the audience’s acceptance. An actor who’s lost his popularity is like a factory worker who lost his arm: he won’t find a job.  
Jen and I both knew that _Supernatural_ was our one and probably only chance to gain traction in Hollywood, as respected actors, so we couldn’t risk it.

**DB: It was Jensen’s decision to wait with going public?**

Jared: In the beginning it definitely was. Well actually, no, in the beginning we were both too scared of it, whatever we had going, to even put a name to it in our heads. We never spoke a word about it to each other, let alone act on it in a public place.  
When we finally had The Talk, chick flick moments y’know… That was when all those issues came up. Believe me, if Jen weren’t Jen, I would’ve outed myself that very day, all those years ago. Back then it was his decision.

**DB: What changed your mind?**

Jared: I saw reason, I guess. [laughs]  
At first I just respected Jensen’s wish. He’s a very private person, everybody knows that, and I didn’t want to make the same mistake as Joanna [Krupa] and lose him.  
Then came another Ellen [DeGeneres] show in early 2007. And at some point, I asked her backstage for a private talk. She in turn put me in touch with a few other people, and I got to hear many different points of view… Basically, I had so many people telling me that Jensen was right that even I had to believe it. [laughs]

**DB: You already mentioned your ex-girlfriend, Sandra McCoy, whom you met on the set of Cry_Wolf.**

Jared: Yeah, that seems to be an ongoing theme in my life. [smiles]  
Nah, it’s just like the statistics say. Most couples meet at the workplace, and I guess those statistics didn’t exclude actors.

**DB: Officially, you were still in this relationship until late 5th season of Supernatural. When did you tell her?**

Jared: I’d love to be able to tell you that I was the gentleman impersonate and I immediately ran to the phone to apologize the first time… something happened. [blushes]  
Truth is, though, that it took me a few weeks to realize that there was more, that I was cheating on her not just physically, but also emotionally. I managed to get a day off and flew to LA to see her.

**DB: How did she react?**

Jared: In the worst way you can imagine. She threw me out, threw some of my clothes at me, yelled at me. It wasn’t pretty.  
A couple of hours later, though, she called me to come back, that she’d given it some thought. We still broke up as a couple, but she agreed to do the PR thing and we remained friends.

**DB: So you did tell her before you and Jensen actually started a relationship?**

Jared: That’s right. I wouldn’t’ve been able to look her in the eye anymore if I’d waited any longer. And it would’ve been unfair to Jensen. It would have cheapened what we have if he’d been the affair, the dirty little secret.

**DB: What about your friends and family?**

Jared: [sarcastic] Oh yeah, that was fun.  
Chad [Michael Murray] nearly had a heart-attack. JD [Jeffrey Dean Morgan] just smiled at us indulgently, this annoying ‘you’re not telling me anything I don’t already know’ smile. And I distinctly remember Chris [Christian Kane] laughing his ass off and almost choking on his tequila. [laughs] But those were the easy ones.  
It wasn’t that hard for me, my folks already knew I was bi. But Jensen’s struggled for quite a while. His family is very religious, and we all know most Christian teachings aren’t fond of gays. I guess the extent of his answer would be, “I anticipated anything from denial to disinheritance, but luckily things worked out well.”

**DB: You’ve heard him say that before?**

Jared: Yes, whenever somebody asked him how it went with his family. Plus, we have had ten years to prepare for this interview. We talked in detail about how much we were comfortable revealing, and what was nobody’s business.  
We also informed our friends and families beforehand that we planned to do this interview. We wanted to know if they were okay with it. We’re not naïve enough to think that this won’t affect them as well. On one hand there’s the press, but on the other hand there’s also the communities that they live in, their coworkers and neighbors and friends.  
We didn’t want to surprise them with this move.

**DB: Can you tell me how it all started?**

Jared: I knew you’d eventually ask that. I dreaded that question.

**DB: [laughs] It’s what we’re here for.**

Jared: Well, I don’t know what to tell you. It’s a boring story.

**DB: It’s a Hollywood love story! That’s what movies are made of. Now, you met in LA when you were reading for your roles.**

Jared: Right, we met in that office, just the two of us instead of the usual dozen people for each role. The two of us and, of course, the producers and execs whose decisions make or break a show.  
We became buddies then and there.  
Then we did the pilot, and we even became best friends.

**DB: That bond, the on-screen chemistry of two strangers who portrayed brothers that just can’t be faked, has been commented on quite often.**

Jared: It certainly started the rumors of Jensen and me being… more. But that was well before either of us ever entertained the thought.  
Not that we would’ve ever consciously thought about it. I mean, I was taken and Jen… he’s only ever been in straight relationships. It wasn’t an issue for either of us.

**DB: What made the difference?**

Jared: That’s gonna sound cheesy. Umm, we both fell asleep on the couch watching a movie. Nothing spectacular happened, but when we woke up half on top of each other, something had shifted between us. [blushes]  
But we were men, manly men, men’s men. What I’m saying is, we were stupid and stubborn and fucking scared. [laughs] It took us another week, a day off, and loads of alcohol to finally act on it, and even then we didn’t talk about it for the longest time.

**DB: That’s when you broke up with Sandra though.**

Jared: Exactly. And thus started the wooing. [laughs] That’s funny only in hindsight, really.  
Jensen was all ‘never speak of it again’, but I wasn’t ready to let it go. I’d split up with my girlfriend for him, I wasn’t gonna let him get away so easily, so I tried to… [coughs] seduce him. I feel so dirty. [laughs]

**DB: On set you must have had every opportunity to turn on those trademark puppy-dog eyes. Nobody is able to resist those.**

Jared: You have no idea. He was so clueless. That’s the bad thing about having a drunken one-night-stand. He thought –or hoped– that I’d forgotten all about it. I hung onto him every chance I got, stared at him, even licked his fingers once. It was so frustrating! I had to corner him in his trailer for him to take the hint.

**DB: What did you do?**

Jared: I said, screw subtlety; I grabbed him and kissed him. No way could he have misinterpreted that. [laughs]

**DB: You already told us the worst thing about having an on-set relationship. How about the best part?**

Jared: Something I still enjoy a lot: our daily routines. We’re sharing our lives, and that also means that I get up early, feed and walk the dogs. Then I fix him breakfast, so by the time he’s out of the shower, coffee and toast are done, and we eat together and read the newspaper.

**DB: Who gets the sports section?**

Jared: Me. [laughs] And the comics. Jen gets to do the crosswords. And he hides the animal shelter ads.

**DB: Did you have any trouble leaving work outside your homes?**

Jared: On _Supernatural_ , we were both too exhausted after a shift to do much else than get cleaned up and fall into bed. We talked about our characters so much to the writers and directors that there was little need to continue that after calling it a wrap. And ever since the show ended, we haven’t been working on any projects together.

**DB: What about the other way around, was there ever a moment when your private life interfered with the acting?**

Jared: Of course. No matter how much you promise not to do it, to be professional about it, there will be a fight at home and then Sam’s snapping at Dean without it being in the script. Kim’s set our heads straight a couple of times, and Jim [Beaver] had the dubious honor of playing partnership counselor. It’s something you learn to work with, though. We tapped into our own emotions a little to make the love-hate-relationship between the brothers that much more intense.

**DB: Is there any reason why you chose today as the date of this interview?**

Jared: Well, no. Jen turned 37 three weeks ago, and we recently celebrated our 9th anniversary. There is no significance to this day though. We just felt that it was time, and that we were ready to face whatever consequences this interview might have.

**DB: What are your wishes for the future?**

Jared: Without trying to make a political statement, I would wish for the people in our country to become more tolerant. There is so much hypocrisy in each and every one of our heads that we’re simply refusing to recognize and battle. It is ‘out’ to be homophobic, and everybody’s open and tolerant, as long as they’re not in direct contact with ‘one of them’. Ten years ago we were further along with the acceptance of gay people than we are now. Thinking has reverted back to an ‘us against them who are different’, and that is scaring me. It is not the kind of world I would want my nieces and nephews to grow up in.

**DB: Thank you so much for being here today, Jared. It was a pleasure, like always.**

Jared: Thank you for having me.


End file.
